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Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot: The Autobiography of a Dangerous Man

by John Callahan

4.09 of 5 stars 4.09 · rating details · 233 ratings · 40 reviews

Here is Callahan's thoroughly winning, wholly irreverent, blisteringly true account of life as a teenage alcoholic and--one short ninety-mph ride into a Con Ed pole, and a long rehabilitation, later--as a twenty-one-year-old quadriplegic. Now a nationaly-published cartoonist, he knows better than most of us about the stuff of humor. Cartoons.

Hardcover , 219 pages

Published 1989 by William Morrow & Company

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Lists with This Book

Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers

Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot by John Callahan

Best Heartbreaking Yet Funny Memoirs

2nd out of 8 books — 5 voters

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Sep 01, 2010 Todd Nemet rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I was very sad to hear that John Callahan had passed away last month. His great memoir of his struggles with alcoholism and becoming quadriplegic was still on my main bookshelf, having survived the great Book Purge of 2003 when I moved to Palo Alto, so I reread it in tribute to the man.

You have probably seen Mr. Callahan's cartoons at least once in your life. They are somewhat crudely drawn (on purpose, by the way), generally deal with handicapped people, and make you laugh despite knowing that I was very sad to hear that John Callahan had passed away last month. His great memoir of his struggles with alcoholism and becoming quadriplegic was still on my main bookshelf, having survived the great Book Purge of 2003 when I moved to Palo Alto, so I reread it in tribute to the man.

You have probably seen Mr. Callahan's cartoons at least once in your life. They are somewhat crudely drawn (on purpose, by the way), generally deal with handicapped people, and make you laugh despite knowing that you probably shouldn't.

Some examples:

The cartoon that the title of this book comes from shows an empty wheelchair in the dessert. Some men on horseback are looking at it. One of them says, "Don't worry, he won't get far on foot."

Two disembodied heads on carts are begging for change on a corner. One of them is blind. The one who isn't blind says to the other, "People like you are a real inspiration to me."

A guy being strapped into an electric chair by prison guards says, "Ahh. First chance I've had to sit down all day."

The only horrifying thing about this book is that I learned later that Robin Williams bought the movie rights to it. The thought of Robin Williams playing a guy in a wheelchair who gets sober and finds dignity makes me shudder. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned this.

So at the age of 21 Mr. Callahan was out bar hopping with a friend, who hit a pole going 90 driving his Volkswagon. His spinal cord was severed.

After years of extensive rehabilitation, which is described in great detail, he is left to deal with his love of alcohol, feelings of abandonment from being adopted, and being generally maladapted to the human race. This latter struggle is what takes up the majority of the book. Fortunately, this is not too mawkish thanks to the clear eyed and blunt way that he writes about it.

The best thing about the book is the way that he lets you know about everything that you are afraid to ask. How does he go to the bathroom? Get ready in the morning? Can he have, you know, relations? He has a hilarious cartoon explaining how he was almost smothered by a lady friend. He gives a very interesting description of joining AA and working through the steps with a sponsor.

The reward after getting through all that is an overview of his cartooning career and an excellent primer on how to break in to cartooning. Then it ends with a typical day in the life that made me miss Portland and even feel a little envious of him.
...more

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Apr 10, 2007 Erin rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommends it for: anyone

this book was recommended to me by a friend of mine in college. it's the autobiography of the controversial/offensive/hilarious comic john callahan, from adoption to addiction to disability. it not only looks at his disability as it relates to society as a whole, but it also points out day to day challenges that not many "able bodied" people would think about. it's pretty raw, but i appreciated his honesty and the cartoons (though not for the faint of heart) are pretty damn funny.

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Aug 11, 2010 Nicole rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I'm sorry that I didn't find this book until just after Callahan's recent passing, but glad that I found it at all. I'd certainly seen a few of his cartoons, but knew nothing of the complex personality behind them. A deceptively slim volume for the amount of misery and hilarity crammed into it (plus it has pictures!). Fragrantly foul and purely honest, and funny, funny, funny.

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Jul 14, 2014 Kaethe rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: humor , memoir , nonfiction , social-issues

The traditional narrative about someone suffering a debilitating accident has the victim becoming stronger, braver, kinder, and more accomplished; going on to win athletic completions, taking up painting. Superman becomes a mensch and an advocate. This is not that story. Callahan does not try to become the poster child for quadriplegics, he just carries on, much as he had before. He gets angry and annoyed and he still find absurdity amusing. I prefer this kind of story. For a similar memoir, try ...more

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Apr 06, 2015 Garrett Zecker rated it 4 of 5 stars

Don’t Worry... is the troubling, emotional, and evocative autobiography of the shock-cartoonist John Callahan wrote at thirty-nine about his accident, alcoholism, and life leading to his career as a cartoonist.

For whatever reason, I was expecting something completely different than what I got with this book, and was more shocked at the complete honesty and depressing series of events that seemingly followed him throughout his life and eventually led to the dark gallows humor of his life’s work. Don’t Worry... is the troubling, emotional, and evocative autobiography of the shock-cartoonist John Callahan wrote at thirty-nine about his accident, alcoholism, and life leading to his career as a cartoonist.

For whatever reason, I was expecting something completely different than what I got with this book, and was more shocked at the complete honesty and depressing series of events that seemingly followed him throughout his life and eventually led to the dark gallows humor of his life’s work. I feel like this book focused a lot on his alcoholism and recovery process, and that he looks stoically on the decisions he made that led to his alcohol dependence and also his recovery in AA. There is no humor in much of the suffering he had endured in his short life, and this book is a brutally honest reflection of his experiences, “putting his best foot forward” and facing his demons head on.

I suppose I expected to see more of his work (not reproductions, rather his rise to being a notable artist) in the book, and perhaps a bit more humor, but in order to appreciate the work that he went on to do later there is no surprise where the inspiration came from. The organization of the book is relatively straightforward: the first third is about his childhood and events leading up to and including his accident, the second third is about his recovery and processing and recovery of his alcoholism, and the final third (which I thought the book would primarily be about) was about his career in cartoon gags.

I received this from my good friend Dr. Bill Keough when he was still alive, and enjoyed reading along with him the story of this man who he held in high regard. There is something about reading a book that a friend had cherished after they are gone and appreciating the sentiment and appreciation they had with the piece and wanted to share with their good friend. Similarly, I very much appreciate the man Callahan was (who was also alive when Keough bestowed it on my collection), and find it somewhat sad that at the end of his career he had given up drawing and moved on to write music that holds a depressing and melancholy mirror to his (and my parent’s) generation.

He was a champion of free speech, and with few exception can I remember someone who has graced the pages of my favorite magazines with as much satire and bewildering offensiveness in their work, but in a manner that leads the observer to appreciate the message the work is conveying. With Callahan, there is certainly a message, and it helps us poke fun at our insecurities, inequality, racism, and differently-abled-ism (name the word-du-jour) to evoke a positive change in laughing at ourselves and our situation in humanity. What made this book so brilliant and touching was that he finally, seriously, and truthfully turned the mirror on himself, and allowed us to peer into the struggle that made such important (and hilarious, and offensive) work. ...more

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Jul 31, 2014 Rob Charpentier rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography , humor , comics , favorites

John Callahan was a gloriously disturbed individual as well as exceptionally funny human being. However, his life was almost nothing but tragedy and misfortune, much of it could be said to have been brought upon himself but somewhat understandably so considering his history.

Callahan was adopted by an Irish Catholic couple that believed they could not have children and then proceeded to miraculously have 8 children of their own. Consequently, John literally became the proverbial redheaded stepch John Callahan was a gloriously disturbed individual as well as exceptionally funny human being. However, his life was almost nothing but tragedy and misfortune, much of it could be said to have been brought upon himself but somewhat understandably so considering his history.

Callahan was adopted by an Irish Catholic couple that believed they could not have children and then proceeded to miraculously have 8 children of their own. Consequently, John literally became the proverbial redheaded stepchild. A slow and steady rebellion grew out of this situation, what psychologists refer to as a cry for help through negative behaviors. To make matters worse, he was also molested by one of his teachers as a child. These combinations of factors led him to show little respect for anyone or anything, sadly most of all for himself. He became a raging teenage alcoholic with a three pack a day cigarette habit hell bent on a speedy demise.

Then, at the age of 21 he nearly got his wish and was involved in a spectacularly devastating car crash while bar hopping with a friend. This resulted in him being paralyzed as a quadriplegic. However, this didn’t seem to change him much and although he was now challenged to find inventive and creative ways to continue his reckless behavior he essentially possessed an indomitable rebel streak in him that refused to give up that is nothing less than admirable.

Back when he was in Catholic school he had drawn vicious caricatures of the nuns that did not please his subjects in the slightest but won him the grateful esteem of his equally oppressed peers. Continuing this tradition as a disabled adult, he turned his wobbly held pen between two useless hands upon himself and began drawing cartoons that made fun of his life and situation with equally merciless black humor. This actually turned into a career and one that was not well received by all.

I first came across his single panel cartoons in a local free weekly. Although, at this time I had no idea of his life or situation I nevertheless found them immensely funny, if not also highly disconcerting at the same time. Then a good friend of mine who was in Alcoholics Anonymous recommended this autobiography as a wonderful life lesson as to the benefits of this organization. Callahan had eventually quit drinking himself by becoming a “friend of Bill’s” and although he does not heavily preach it in his book he does emphatically support their efforts. He reassures those faced with losing this social crutch that ones personality does not need to change with the loss of liquid courage and that life can be just as full of humor and adventure as in ones glory days without it.

I highly recommend this to anyone that thinks their life is a steaming bowl of crap and have little choice in the matter other than to continue drinking themselves into oblivion. It is doubtful that many others can top Callahan’s life in hitting “rock bottom.” He is a definite role model to uphold in this regard. On the other hand, he is also a champion of the disabled but in other less appreciated ways.

His dark humor offends many able-bodied individuals as being horrific and moreover extremely politically incorrect, and rightly so it is. Only, here’s the thing. Those bound to wheelchairs themselves adore this man. So, what right do those with the full use of their two legs have to complain about?

One of my good friends has lived his entire life in a chair and I can tell you that the one thing that he absolutely does not want from people is their pity. I liberally dispense with this in regards to him by giving him just as hard, if not harder, of a time for it. One of the strangest ethos or creeds, if you will, that I’ve learned through the punk rock community is that insulting one another as best you are able shows a certain respect for one another in that one is comfortable enough with all of your own flaws to point out the same in others. It’s a bonding experience that breeds absolute equality, or at the very least a punch in the face. Only, later should this lead to violence, even this tends to be is laughed about later. This book is both of these things, a sucker punch to all of humanity with a great big shit-eating grin! Highly recommended! ...more

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Oct 11, 2009 Clint rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This is a sick, twisted, offensive, hilarious, and ultimately, poignant book. It was supposed to be made into a movie with Robin Williams some time ago, but unfortunately, it was never made. Author John Callahan is a cartoonist who, through his own admitted stupidity, became a quadriplegic at age 21 after a drunken night of partying and driving led to a tragic car wreck. Among other subjects (including his alcoholism and his fight to beat it), Callahan addresses the car wreck in great detail in ...more

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Sep 14, 2007 Tracey rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommends it for: anyone looking for a straight-shooting autobiography with a little black humor around the edges

Shelves: no-longer-owned

I'm not sure where I picked up Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot: The Autobiography of a Dangerous Man but I imagine the title caught my eye, then I realized it was by John Callahan, one of my favorite sick cartoonists [ http://www.callahanonline.com/index.php ].

The first chapter leads us up to the accident that left him as a quadriplegic; he was out partying with a friend who was driving while very, very drunk. "Dexter had mistaken a Con Edison pole for an exit and had run straight into in a I'm not sure where I picked up Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot: The Autobiography of a Dangerous Man but I imagine the title caught my eye, then I realized it was by John Callahan, one of my favorite sick cartoonists [ http://www.callahanonline.com/index.php ].

The first chapter leads us up to the accident that left him as a quadriplegic; he was out partying with a friend who was driving while very, very drunk. "Dexter had mistaken a Con Edison pole for an exit and had run straight into in at 90 miles an hour". He then goes back to the beginning, as an illegitimate baby adopted into a devoutly Catholic family. He discusses his upbringing matter-of-factly, focusing on the religious aspects. His parents were neither angels nor demons, and he doesn't really seem to blame them for his incipient alcoholism. He started drinking when he was about 13, and didn't let his accident or recovery stop him.

He writes bluntly about recovering from the car wreck and the various therapeutic devices/torture instruments he dealt with to regain the amount of mobility he has. The description of his eliminatory processes are not recommended mealtime reading. He lived in several group home environments, managing to get back into the drinking life with a minimum of hassle. He regained a measure of freedom by moving into an apartment and hiring attendants - who were in their own ways as broken and damaged as he was. Callahan writes of hitting bottom, then of how AA saved his life; again - he pulls no punches as he shares the difficulties of recovery, and how he slowly accomplished each step.

Once he was sober, cartooning came back into his life. He'd always been artistic, but had never really done anything with it. He combines stories about his first sales and successes with the struggles of being on welfare; how any money he makes pushes his delicately balanced budget and living situation off kilter. He's working with a lawyer on a "Plan of Support" - a document that will (hopefully) allow him to use some state benefits while still being able to have a career. The last chapter takes us through a typical day. It shows both how much harder a "normal" day is for him, and how he seems to be getting along just fine anyways.

Recommended to anyone looking for a straight-shooting autobiography with a little black humor around the edges.

...more

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Oct 29, 2012 Carye Bye rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: hidden-portland

Very approachable honest book about callahan by callahan. Instead of being more integrated longer story, he naturally separates his story into sections of Drinking/Youth, Recovery/Being Quad, and Cartooning/Work with some illustrations, comics spread throughout

Since moving to Portland in 2001 I got to know Callahans comics and humor in his one box comic published in the weekly. They were very much in your face, too honest, sometimes embarrassing -- but funny, almost always funny. I didn't know ...more

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May 29, 2012 Janet rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I've been a fan of Callahan's cartoons for a long time and remember when he was being published in Willamette Week. This book is fascinating in its gritty realism and stark descriptions of daily life when you require help to do just about anything.

Less compelling, however, were Callahan's portrayals of the AA culture and his (justifiable) rants at the welfare system. I personally found the most touching moments in the book had to do with Callahan's search for his birth parents and coming to ter ...more

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Apr 12, 2011 Philip rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Funny, but often with dark humor, story about the late cartoonist John Callahan's descent into alcoholism and welfare and his ascent to sobriety and productivity. The journey is a compelling one because he becomes a quadriplegic while driving drunk, so medical problems, embarrassment and discomfort become his daily companions. The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous figure prominently in the book, as they should. There is no better advertising for AA! He also offers incredible insight into nurs ...more

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Oct 17, 2007 Stephy rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommends it for: People in Recovery

Shelves: autobiography

AS Drunkalogs go, this is a fine job, with some humor to it. John came out of an automobile accident parlyzed. He was someone who managed his psychological and physical pain with alcohol. He drank a lot. He tells many funny stories about it. He made it sound almost fun. Being drunk is highly over-rated. Finally he wakes up, and the story gets more readable, and he claims himself and his life back from the booze. It is a heart-wrenching first person story about how drunken driver and drunk drivin ...more

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Nov 10, 2012 Bones Kendall rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: disability-related

Callahan tells a great story. He applies his comic wit to the first-person literary memoir, fully conscious of the genre.

Some cartoons are included. I only wish more had.

His self-awareness is probably due to the fact that he is educated. He worked hard for it, sure. His partial paralysis was caused by an accident due to self-admittedly risky behavior.

Dark time eventually is vanquished -- this is an epic tale.

Callahan is not a victim and he is willing to share with brutal honesty his reality. It ...more

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Sep 08, 2013 Keri rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Really great read. I have loved Callahan's cartoons/humor for years, but had no idea he had such an inspirational story of recovery. It's pretty difficult to complain about your own trivial stuff when you read about his life as a quadriplegic, and his ability of get sober and create a pretty great life for himself. His writing is honest and is devoid of cliche or self pity. I wish he was till around.

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Mar 22, 2012 Jay rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: disability-memoirs , disabled-communities

My rating of this book is based on reading it as a youth and feeling connected to disability culture.
I don't have many memories about specifics, but I do appreciate much of the author's humor, as well as occasional discomfort. I miss his presence in our world as a counterbalance to a particular kind of ableism that treats lived experience of disability as too fragile for social commentary.

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Sep 21, 2014 Heather rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: ill , autobiography , humor

This book is one way to make sure you are more appreciative of your life. In a hilarious, raw and incredibly honest way, John Callahan tells the story of his life, including how he ended up in a wheel chair, recovered from alcoholism and dealt with welfare. Great personal story with embarrassingly enjoyable cartoons.

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Jan 03, 2013 Max rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jan 25, 2009 Tymber Dalton rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: everyone-should-read-at-least-once

John Callahan has written a darkly funny and brutally honest book about his experiences that blows stereotypical attitudes out of the water. As the mother of a child in a wheelchair, I can relate to so much of what he's written, laugh with a lot of his dark humor, and wish this was required reading for everyone.

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Jun 10, 2010 Ruth Anne rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: re-reads

This was a re-read after many years, and I still like his story. It's funny and smart-*ssed and irreverent and sick. So are his cartoons. But if you aren't afraid to admit you like it, he writes like a friend we all know. I found myself re-reading it after recommending it to someone (who I plan to loan it to).

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Jun 06, 2011 Cyanemi rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I found this on my Dad's bookshelf. This is the autobiographical story of a man who became a quadraplegic and then a fairly well known cartoonist. Unfortunately my Father discovered him after his death in 2010. Some of his cartoons are hysterical and some are just awful. His story was very inspirational

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Dec 01, 2008 Wendy rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was our book club read for this month. While it is R rated for sure, it is an interesting autobiography of John Callahan, a neurotic, quadriplegic alcoholic turned cartoonist. It's an interesting book with some insight into the problems of our health care and welfare systems.

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Jul 19, 2008 Matt added it · review of another edition

I love this book. I need to get this John Callahan's other books even though I haven't read them, I'm so confident that they'll be hilarious. It reminds me a lot of (If I may make a television reference here.) South Park and Family Guy, that level of deliberatly being offensive.

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Sep 28, 2014 Mike rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction , faves

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jan 14, 2010 Jensownzoo rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2010-reads , biographies , thriftstore

I've been laughing at Callahan comics for years, but picked this book up at a thriftstore recently. An autobiography of the comic's life that doesn't really gloss over his mistakes.

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Jul 31, 2011 Cynmo rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Combines my reading interests in first-person drug stories and first-person disability tales. Plus it's incredibly funny. I read it again and again and am always sorry when it's over.

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Jul 16, 2008 Kathy rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A true story. The author salvages his life from alcoholism and anger. He lives a hard life. He has become a famous cartoonist who lives as independently as possible in Portland, OR.

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Apr 22, 2009 James rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: biography , entertainment-and-recreation , health-care-healing-and-wellness , humor , memoirs , spirituality-and-or-religion

Darkly inspirational, if that's possible - John Callahan tells the story of his life and how he ended up becoming one of the most twistedly funny cartoonists to come along in a long time.

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Feb 14, 2008 Katie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommends it for: other OT students

I read this book for my "Psychosocial Aspects of Disability" class and so far it's pretty good. This guy just happens to have paraplegia (person-first language) and is a comic artist.

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Jun 15, 2008 Liz rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

It was interesting to learn about the life of a quadriplegic especially one that lives in my neighborhood. This guy has been through things that most of us could never imagine.

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Oct 24, 2011 Laura Siegel rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: biography-memoir

A very funny and personal account by this quadriplegic who employs dark humor about disabilities his cartoons. Honest and vibrant writing to the core.

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About John Callahan

John Callahan was a cartoonist who often drew on his struggles (he was a paraplegic and recovering alcoholic) for his humor.

More about John Callahan...

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