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Fathers and Sons: The Autobiography of a Family

by Alexander Waugh

3.93 of 5 stars 3.93 · rating details · 180 ratings · 44 reviews

If there is a literary gene, then the Waugh family most certainly has it—and it clearly seems to be passed down from father to son. The first of the literary Waughs was Arthur, who, when he won the Newdigate Prize for poetry at Oxford in 1888, broke with the family tradition of medicine. He went on to become a distinguished publisher and an immensely influential book columnist. He fathered two sons, Alec and Evelyn, both of whom were to become novelists of note (and whom Arthur, somewhat uneasily, would himself publish); both of whom were to rebel in their own ways against his bedrock Victorianism; and one of whom, Evelyn, was to write a series of immortal novels that will be prized as long as elegance and lethal wit are admired. Evelyn begat, among seven others, Auberon Waugh, who would carry on in the family tradition of literary skill and eccentricity, becoming one of England’s most incorrigibly cantankerous and provocative newspaper columnists, loved and loathed in equal measure. And Auberon begat Alexander, yet another writer in the family, to whom it has fallen to tell this extraordinary tale of four generations of scribbling male Waughs.

The result of his labors is Fathers and Sons , one of the most unusual works of biographical memoir ever written. In this remarkable history of father-son relationships in his family, Alexander Waugh exposes the fraught dynamics of love and strife that has produced a succession of successful authors. Based on the recollections of his father and on a mine of hitherto unseen documents relating to his grandfather, Evelyn, the book skillfully traces the threads that have linked father to son across a century of war, conflict, turmoil and change. It is at once very, very funny, fearlessly candid and exceptionally moving—a supremely entertaining book that will speak to all fathers and sons, as well as the women who love them.

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Hardcover , 480 pages

Published May 29th 2007 by Nan A. Talese (first published 2004)

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May 25, 2008 Chuck rated it 4 of 5 stars

Okay, this book just rocks.

It's different from what you'd think. It's funny--really funny--rather than the ponderous 'my family has been important for generations' tome it could have been. Two examples will illustrate how quirky--in the best possible sense--the book was.

First, according to the author, one of the family's most proud accomplishments was that an ancestor 'cured Queen Victoria's wind'--Waughs cured the queen's farts! A letter from one of the Queen's staff to the Waugh ancestor conf Okay, this book just rocks.

It's different from what you'd think. It's funny--really funny--rather than the ponderous 'my family has been important for generations' tome it could have been. Two examples will illustrate how quirky--in the best possible sense--the book was.

First, according to the author, one of the family's most proud accomplishments was that an ancestor 'cured Queen Victoria's wind'--Waughs cured the queen's farts! A letter from one of the Queen's staff to the Waugh ancestor confirms the fact, tactfully.

Second, the author (Alexander) recalls an incident when, after he'd been thrown over by a girl, he stormed around the house, loudly resolving never to have a thing to do with women again. Panicked, his mother Theresa decided this meant he'd decided to be a homosexual. She informed his father, Auberon, called Bron by the family. Bron called Alexander into the study, and explained, "The anus is designed for the explusion of fecal matter. It is not designed for the insertion of foreign objects, no matter how lovingly placed there."

Alexander said he left the study in tears of laughter.

This is the book in a nutshell; since the late 19th century, the Waugh name has been an important name in British letters. Arthur Waugh, not the first important Waugh but the first author, started a "string" whose decendents include four generations who have made their living from writing, and whose output includes more than 180 books.

And yet, despite all that, Alexander is most proud the family was of service in relieving the Queen of her farts.

You also learn about fathers and sons, and the influence, directly or indirectly, that one person will have on several generations of decendants.

You have to love a book like that. ...more

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Oct 17, 2014 Sarah Beth rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Even if you're not familiar with the many literary Waughs, most of us at least recognize Evelyn Waugh, of Brideshead Revisited fame. In this autobiography, Alexander Waugh, grandson of Evelyn Waugh, describes the legacy and complicated father and son relationships that litter his family tree. Beginning with The Brute (his great-great grandfather) down through his own son Auberon, Alexander Waugh details his family tree, including the many writers in the family. In this work, he ruminates on his Even if you're not familiar with the many literary Waughs, most of us at least recognize Evelyn Waugh, of Brideshead Revisited fame. In this autobiography, Alexander Waugh, grandson of Evelyn Waugh, describes the legacy and complicated father and son relationships that litter his family tree. Beginning with The Brute (his great-great grandfather) down through his own son Auberon, Alexander Waugh details his family tree, including the many writers in the family. In this work, he ruminates on his family legacy, how he will stand up in the face of it, and details the complex characters that are the Waughs.

The Waugh family's introduction to the writing world occurred in May 1888 when Arthur Waugh (father to Evelyn) had his poem "Gordon in Africa" published. This event "marked the birth of a remarkable literary dynasty. Works by Waugh have been in continuous print ever since: nine of Arthur's descendants have produced 180 books between them. Novels, plays, poems, essays, histories, travelogues, philosophies and biographies have gushed from our pens in cataracts every since" (41).

The father and son relationships throughout the family true are mostly peculiar. They range from Arthur Waugh's fanatical devotion to his eldest son Alec, to Evelyn's cold and lackadaisical parenting style. Arthur hero worshipped his son Alec and likened their relationship as a Christ-like union, "bound together by the nails that pierce through them both" (72). Interesting then, that both of Arthur's sons could scarcely be bothered by their own children. In fact, Evelyn's daughter Teresa reports that her first memory of her frequently absent father was "of a red-faced, uniformed man appearing from a window at Pixton, shouting across the garden: 'For God's sake, someone take those children to the other lawn.'" (277).

Just like his forebears, Alexander Waugh is unsentimental and frank on all subjects. I think its probably fairly rare for an individual to be willing to portray their family in such decisive terms, boldly laying bare all flaws. The author's dry sense of humor is laced throughout the book, with no subject spared, including his great-grandfather's inability to quit masturbating despite his father's admonishment to "think of cricket or the day's game" (64) (with a footnote from the author pointing out that cricket is, in fact, a field game played with bats and balls) to Evelyn's death in the bathroom, leading to a small pile of feces on the floor, (which the author argues was Evelyn's final joke).

This is a witty inside look at a family full of witty and infamous individuals. It is a story of writers by a skilled writer, who rather than allow his family connection to the subject cloud his perception of the story, allows it to merely give more personal insight. Alexander Waugh is the fourth generation of Waughs to write for a living and as he says, "I suppose, when I think of it, that all of us Waughs only became writers to impress our fathers" (450). ...more

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Aug 25, 2015 Christopher Roth rated it 5 of 5 stars

For fans of any of the Waughs, this is a must-read. Compared to the two Evelyn Waugh biographies I've read (Stannard and Sykes), there is a lot more detail here about Evelyn's relationship with his father Arthur, and in particular it brings out the horrific favoritism that Arthur Waugh bestowed on his son Alec at Evelyn's expense. This is sort of the key to the whole conundrum of the Waugh men and their different--and differently pathological--personalities and, of course, their writing. In part For fans of any of the Waughs, this is a must-read. Compared to the two Evelyn Waugh biographies I've read (Stannard and Sykes), there is a lot more detail here about Evelyn's relationship with his father Arthur, and in particular it brings out the horrific favoritism that Arthur Waugh bestowed on his son Alec at Evelyn's expense. This is sort of the key to the whole conundrum of the Waugh men and their different--and differently pathological--personalities and, of course, their writing. In particular, the author (Alexander Waugh is the oldest son of Evelyn's oldest son Auberon) outlines all of the different characters in Evelyn's fiction that were based on his father Arthur and catalogues for us in detail all the ways in which Evelyn used his fiction to attack and humiliate and wound his father. The distant, uncaring, cruel-with-a-smile Ned Ryder (Charles's father) in Brideshead Revisited was only the tip of the iceberg. (Ned is interesting because he has Arthur's parenting style (at least vis à vis Evelyn) but Evelyn's cruel wit; Arthur himself had nowhere near that dry a sense of humor.)

Relatedly, one can trace Alec's personality quirks--if one can call a rampant, flamboyant, unapologetic, and omnivorous lifelong sex addiction a personality quirk--to this favoritism. He was in a sense proving to the world that he was NOT the stuffy Victorian Arthur Waugh's "golden boy" but in fact a rogue. It is amazing how forgiving Arthur is of Alec's sexual character. Alec actually comes off quite sympathetic. He treated Evelyn with utter, even heroic, love and graciousness given the context of being the benificiary--and Evelyn the victim--of Arthur's favoritism. But I think I came away with such a good impression of Alec because Alexander decides to soft-pedal the effects that Alec's Casanova-like adventurist satyriasis had on his poor wife and kids, whom he utterly abandoned. One of the interesting themes here is how bisexual men in the same family who take on the identity of heterosexual "dabblers" in buggery--which was the cultural norm in Evelyn and Alec's generation--negotiate their identity vis à vis each other and vis à vis their own fathers and sons. The enormous scandal of the publication of The Loom of Youth, Alec's exposé of public-school buggery, is at the center of how this played out in the Waugh family.

As for Alexander's father Auberon, I must say that I have a personal dislike of Auberon: he is horrifically overrated as a writer, in my opinion, and he had all of his father Evelyn's bad qualities and none of his good ones: he was, in his writing and in his life, cruel and vituperative but without Evelyn's compensating humanity and literary genius. Evelyn was an emotional cripple; he WANTED to be a warm and loving person, but he didn't know how; he even said as much in unguarded moments. His religiosity was the only way he could express his humanity. His carapace of unpleasantness was paper-thin; one pities him, and loves him. Auberon did NOT want to be a warm and loving person. Also, Evelyn fervently wished that he had been born an aristocrat and made it his life to hobnob with aristocracy and emulate them (the Churchills, Mitfords, Spencers, et al. were personal friends), though he was consumed with feelings of inadequacy with respect to them. The important point, though, is that nobility as a way of life and as an ethos was something he lived up to. For all his crabbiness, he was a gentleman and treated people with grace and respect the way actual gentlemen do, or are supposed to. Auberon, on the other hand, was a snob in the way that Evelyn never was: he believed he was better than people below him on the social ladder and treated them that way, which is contrary to the actual ethos of nobility. In fact, he made his contempt for the lower orders a kind of trademark of his; it was never implicit, it was explicit--and it was unearned. He became a kind of shock jock; but the irony is that in so doing he made it obvious to the world that he was not noble, because nobility demands one treat everyone with respect. He presented himself as an aristocrat (he married a toff, and more of a toff than his father had married, too) but was, at the end of the day, a rank vulgarian. As a writer, Auberon, unlike Evelyn, truly had nothing to say, even though he said it endlessly, with a gigantic, brobdingnagian, daily output of non-fiction screeds. Alexander also cuts Auberon way too much slack on the political front; he claims his father was apolitical; bullshit: he was an élitist Thatcherite, and I can smell them a mile away.

I wish there were more in this book on the younger sons of Evelyn--James and Septimus--and of Auberon--especially Nat. The brief discussions of Nat, with whom Alexander has collaborated as a writer--are tantalizing: he is a madman comedian, of the anarchic Robin Williams variety, and also a peripatetic world traveler like his own great-great-uncle Alec, but whether that extends to becoming an aficionado of the brothels and glory holes of the seven continents, as it did for Alec, is something which probably cannot be fully discussed regarding someone still alive.

The ways in which the same genetic and cultural ingredients are differently mixed to create such different, and all to some extent brilliant, creative men is the true wonder of this book. Alexander has done a fine job.

Also: the correspondence between a teenaged Alec and his father on the subject of masturbation and homosexuality is a jaw-dropping insight into the sexual mentality of arrested Victorianism in Edwardian England. Should be required reading in "history of sexuality" courses. ...more

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Feb 01, 2009 Carrie rated it 5 of 5 stars

I am so glad that I enjoyed this book - I was starting to feel that I was too cranky to ever enjoy non-fiction again. But this is a great book - one of the best I’ve read this year. Anyway, this book is biography/memoir of a literary family - Alexander Waugh writes the story of his famous literary family. He is a music/science writer, his father, Auberon Waugh was a famous cantankerous columnist in England, his grandfather, of course the famous novelist Evelyn Waugh. Plus, his great uncle was a ...more

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Dec 16, 2012 John rated it 2 of 5 stars

I suppose, when I think of it, that all of us Waughs only became writers to impress our fathers.
-- from "Fathers and Sons"
Alexander Waugh's "Fathers and Sons" covers five generations of fathers and sons in the literary Waugh family. The direct line starts with Alexander Waugh, nicknamed "The Brute"; continues to Arthur, then to Evelyn, then to Auberon and finally to the author.
Various other male and female Waughs are encountered along the way.
All of the men, with the possible exception of the au I suppose, when I think of it, that all of us Waughs only became writers to impress our fathers.
-- from "Fathers and Sons"
Alexander Waugh's "Fathers and Sons" covers five generations of fathers and sons in the literary Waugh family. The direct line starts with Alexander Waugh, nicknamed "The Brute"; continues to Arthur, then to Evelyn, then to Auberon and finally to the author.
Various other male and female Waughs are encountered along the way.
All of the men, with the possible exception of the author, were, it seems to me, bad fathers. Like Christopher Buckley's more enjoyable portrayal of his family life in "Losing Mum and Pup," this book made me all the more grateful for my own parents.
Evelyn is the most famous of the Waughs and the pivot-point of this book. We learn much about him in "Fathers and Sons." His first wife was named -- wait for it -- Evelyn. For clarity, the author refers to her as She-Evelyn. He-Evelyn's proposal to his second wife, Laura, was in writing and admirable in its honesty:
I can't advise you in my favour because I think it would be beastly for you, but think how nice it would be for me.
Evelyn and Laura had seven children, six of whom survived past childhood, even though Laura liked cows better than people and Evelyn was bored by his children.
In 1946, Evelyn wrote about his children to a friend:
I abhor their company because I can only regard children as defective adults. I hate their physical ineptitude, find their jokes flat and monotonous.
I found "Fathers and Sons" to be not edifying and occasionally vulgar, and at times I considered not finishing it. There are quite a few interesting tidbits, however, and bits of droll humor as well.
There is, for example, this brief conversation between the author and his dying father:
A few years later, as he lay in a bewildered state only weeks from death, he asked: "Remind me, why do I hate Max Hastings?"
"Because he sacked me, Papa?"
"Oh, yes, of course. What a twerp!"

...more

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Sep 16, 2007 Tanja rated it 4 of 5 stars

Recommends it for: those wondering about the eccentricity of their own family

Shelves: biography

I absolutely adore this book.
It is well written, with great wit and with so much warmth. Alexander Waugh is clearly not blind to the faults of his forbearers, and some of their actions are horrid and despicable, but he does not shy away from them, does not cover up, tries to hide or to excuse. And yet, the entire book reads as a love letter to a family that has crafted a succession of great writers. Several times I found myself laughing out loud, or simply smiling happily.
I loved reading about t ...more

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Dec 04, 2008 Jessica rated it 3 of 5 stars

I finally finished this book, that took a while for me to get into, but then I could hardly put the second half down. Probably because the second half dealt mainly with adult Evelyn Waugh and his son, and let's face it - Evelyn was the most interesting Waugh. It's astonishing how literary this family was and even more astonishing how horrible at parenting there were! But they did lead interesting lives and Evelyn's letters were just as witty as his books, which make this is an entertaining read. ...more

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Jan 14, 2008 Noah rated it 3 of 5 stars

Recommends it for: fathers ... sons ... writers ... not girls

i can't believe i finally finished this mother...
the autobiography of a family (spread out over several generations) of semi-successful writers over the last century-plus in England. It's an interesting look at the relationship between fathers and their sons but these fathers are actually pretty poor parents and they do a great job at passing their inflated egos, classist views, and clever and witty writing down to the next generation. much of the stories surrounding their lives are told in the ...more

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Apr 13, 2014 Ineke Kluft rated it 5 of 5 stars

This was such a good read, I can not help but give it the full 5 stars. It is well written, very funny and witty, not being Britisch (Dutch) I kept thinking how very British this family is. In fact it is not funny that a father (Evelyn) doen't like his children but I had to laugh about it. And the mother liked her cows better than her children....
I enjoyed it very much.

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Aug 15, 2008 Idiosyncratic rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jul 04, 2007 Chuck Lowry rated it 3 of 5 stars

Since Brideshead Revisited is one of my favorite novels, and since I like the other work of Evelyn Waugh as well, I thought I would pick up this "family autobiography" by Evelyn Waugh's grandson. It covers five generations in some detail, two before Evelyn and two after, and it is quite interesting. Among the things I like is the author's willingness to use his family knowledge to make intelligent speculation, but to let you know when he is doing that, e.g., "I strongly suspect that The Brute fo ...more

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Jun 25, 2013 Scuzzymonster rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

This book was not so much boring as obnoxious. It claims to be an analysis of the father-son dynamic, but is really just a self indulgent piece of ancestor worship on the part of Alexander Waugh. Not that he tries to claim that his family were flawless, in fact he seems to relish describing the many unpleasant aspects of his male relatives' characters, but he gives the impression that all these sins should be forgiven because of their literary genius. Some parts are genuinely interesting, especi ...more

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Aug 01, 2013 The American Conservative added it

Shelves: reviewed-books

'Four generations of Waugh boys—from Evelyn’s father Arthur, born 1866, to Alexander, born 1963—have grown up to be writers. Between them, Arthur’s descendents—daughters, too—have produced 180 books of all kinds: biographies, novels, journalism, poetry, even treatises entitled Time and God. The last two are among Alexander’s previous works: warm-ups for tackling the Waughs, one might say.'

Read the full review, "The Waugh at Home," on our website:
http://www.theamericanconservative.co...

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Aug 19, 2011 Lisa rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: re-read

I first fell for Alexander Waugh's 'God'. His book 'Time' was very good as well. Some authors, I find, get better with every book, while others lose interest and live on their laurels. Others maintain the status quo. With 'Fathers and sons', Alexander Waugh definitely falls into the first category. If not for this book, I would have never looked into his father's works or his grandfather's works. That says something about Alex Waugh's awesomeness.
Definitely a book to return to again and again.

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Oct 15, 2007 Maya rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir-2007

Truly excellent: it's hard to imagine how the literary gene can be so consistently passed down in this manner, but it obviously has been. Despite Brideshead Revisited being a cherished favorite of mine, I'd never read any Waugh biography before this. Alexander Waugh writes with a breezy humor that shows his relationship to his father and grandfather, yet has a sense of objectivity that allows the book to be something more than a navel-gazing exercise about growing up in a famous family.

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Sep 05, 2007 Lisa rated it 4 of 5 stars

I'm a huge fan of Evelyn Waugh, and of memoirs, so I really enjoyed this. Alexander Waugh (Evelyn's grandson) writes about the dysfunctional relationships between his family's fathers and sons, beginning with his great grandfather, who was nicknamed "The Brute." Waugh (Alexander) sneaks in a snarky comment when the book starts getting too serious or depressing. Most of these are very funny, and worthy of his grandfather. Sometimes, though, they're more smarmy than snarky. Smarky.

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Jan 03, 2012 Mauberley added it

This is a fine memoir, neither self-serving nor an attampt to keep the family skeletons hidden. For me, the most remarkable section was that which dealt with the author's great-grandfather (Arthur) and his grandfather (Evelyn) and grand-uncle (Alec). All lived strange lives that were not always happy. Forever grateful for learning the correct pronunciation of the name of the author's father (Auberon), one of my favourite journalists from the last century.

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Jan 25, 2008 Sara rated it 4 of 5 stars

A frequently amusing, sometimes sad and horrifying but always clear-eyed look at the dynamics of a line of authors that it would be easy to write off as a bunch of upper-class twits, written by the grandson of Evelyn Waugh. Author Alexander Waugh seems to have inherited many of the libertarian/conservative tendencies of his father, Auberon Waugh, and the book is full of little asides that would likely appeal to those of similar political persuasion.

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Sep 24, 2007 Dee rated it 3 of 5 stars

This reads to me like a giant apologia for the horrors that were the Waughs, especially Evelyn, and consequently has a kind of star-fuck aura, even if it is granpa who is the star. Lots of excuse making here, and what a wacked out family. It sent me back to Brideshead, which I am enjoying much more than this book. TMI on this one.

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Feb 24, 2008 Katie rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I probably would have enjoyed this more if I'd ever read anything by Evelyn Waugh, but as it was, I still found it an amusing look at father and son relations. The Waughs are all eccentric men and all in their own particular ways, so that made this interesting to read. They're all very British with very dry senses of humor.

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Oct 11, 2010 Karl rated it 5 of 5 stars

So, of course (I might almost say) I read this because I like so many of the Evelyn Waugh titles I've read over the years. The whole book is a marvelous story, very engagingly written. Makes me want to read Alexander Waugh's other books. And (of course) makes me want to re-read all of Evelyn Waugh.

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Sep 29, 2008 Melody rated it 1 of 5 stars

I tried, but I confess to being so put off early in the book that I didn't try very hard. I've never read anything by any of the Waughs, so that no doubt contributed to my lack of interest in their history. I picked this up on the strength of the cover, which is always risky.

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Jul 01, 2008 Erica rated it 3 of 5 stars

News flash: the Waugh family was disfunctional. I enjoyed reading about one of my favorite authors of all time (Evelyn, that is - sorry to the rest of the family). But this family history was not nearly as engaging as a good, bitter novel.

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Apr 02, 2013 Adam DeVille, Ph.D. rated it 4 of 5 stars

A must-read for all Waugh aficionados. It is funny and revealing, and was the jumping off for a charming BBC documentary the author did some time ago, parts of which you can profitably watch on Youtube.

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Mar 02, 2011 Carolyn rated it 5 of 5 stars

A very interesting biography of a famous writing family by a modern descendant. I really liked it because I do so admire Brideshead Revisited and find Walugh's personal story strange and intriguing.

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Jul 23, 2009 Sarah rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography , books-about-literature , british , historical-nonfic

This is good fun, with amusing stories about the brainy, eccentric and so-very-British family that's produced several famous writers--but it still seemed a little over-praised to me.

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Mar 17, 2008 Allison rated it 5 of 5 stars

Stories about the relationships between fathers and sons are more entertaining and funny than stories about mothers and daughters. Those ones are so sappy and melodramatic.

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Jul 24, 2007 Simon rated it 5 of 5 stars

Very, very funny. And sad. And astringent. And . . . well, you get the idea. And how the hell do you get the gene that allows one family to have been this damned talented?

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Jun 26, 2009 Donna Jo Atwood rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2009-summer-challenge , biography

It took me a while to figure out who was who in this family, even with the chart. It's a wonder any of these men turned out able to think, let alone write for a living.

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Jan 07, 2009 Nde3045 rated it 5 of 5 stars

I've been on an Evelyn Waugh binge; this biography/autobiography was excellent -- witty, fascinating -- true to the great family tradition of brilliant writing.

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