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The Autobiography of Methuselah
I, METHUSELAH
George W. Methuselah, that is.
I, the oldest man of all time, am setting down my story here. Not in hieroglyphics, mind you, for I am no draftsman and these chisels and rocks are an awkward medium. (And Dear Reader, I assure you my tale is not as heavy at its manuscript!) No, I have chosen English, because French, Spanish, and German haven't come into being yet ...more
George W. Methuselah, that is.
I, the oldest man of all time, am setting down my story here. Not in hieroglyphics, mind you, for I am no draftsman and these chisels and rocks are an awkward medium. (And Dear Reader, I assure you my tale is not as heavy at its manuscript!) No, I have chosen English, because French, Spanish, and German haven't come into being yet ...more
Paperback
,
104 pages
Published
February 1st 2009
by Aegypan
(first published 1909)
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kind of funny. not as good as houseboat on the river styx, but good. the book sort of looses steam after the first half. the last chapter is completely worthless. but i really enjoyed the chapters about adam and eve.
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i can't say i know why they say it, but they do say that you cannot know where you're going if you don't know where you've come from.
so unless you're a lazy, don't-care-to-know-where-you're-going mofo, you should take the time to read these carefully chiseled out words by Methusalah, your ancestor.
but for all you lazy, don't-care-to-know-where-you're-going-mofos who need an incentive, i put it to you that the first half of this book is some of the funniest shit you have or will ever read!
hop to ...more
so unless you're a lazy, don't-care-to-know-where-you're-going mofo, you should take the time to read these carefully chiseled out words by Methusalah, your ancestor.
but for all you lazy, don't-care-to-know-where-you're-going-mofos who need an incentive, i put it to you that the first half of this book is some of the funniest shit you have or will ever read!
hop to ...more
For a free book that I had never even heard of before this was hilarious. Old Testament Biblical satire is an acknowledged genre. Okay, this is the only book I know in that genre, unless you find Paradise Lost as hilarious as I found it...you probably didn't.
Anyway, Methuselah, the oldest man in the Bible tells his readers about how he got his name, a bit about his family, and muses on how long childhood lasted when the average human lived 300 years. If you've read Genesis and you have a love o ...more
Anyway, Methuselah, the oldest man in the Bible tells his readers about how he got his name, a bit about his family, and muses on how long childhood lasted when the average human lived 300 years. If you've read Genesis and you have a love o ...more
So Methuselah, that should be George W. Methuselah, writes his autobiography... With the likes of his relatives, Adam, Eve, Noah and the whole lot of them Bangs presents a rather humorous look into the life of the oldest man that ever lived...
Quite humourous, made me smile. I imagined some sort of biblical Flintstones scene while reading it.
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John Kendrick Bangs was an American author and satirist, and the creator of modern Bangsian fantasy, the school of fantasy writing that sets the plot wholly or partially in the afterlife.
More about John Kendrick Bangs...
“Taking the alphabet first and learning one letter a year for twenty-six years he will be able to read and write as early in life as he ought to. If we were more careful not to teach our children to read in their childhood we should not be so anxious about the effects of pernicious literature upon their adolescent morals.”
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“If I had my way no one should be taught to read until after he had passed his hundredth year. In that way, and in that way only can we protect our youth from the dreadful influence of such novels as 'Three Cycles, Not To Mention The Rug,' which dreadful book I have found within the past month in the hands of at least twenty children in the neighborhood, not one of whom was past sixty.”
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