Autobiography of a Recovering Skinhead

May 13, 2010 Dc Burney rated it 5 of 5 stars

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A RECOVERING SKINHEAD
By Frank Meeink

I’ve recently read Autobiography of a Recovering Skinhead, by Frank Meeink. Frank is born out of a pretty lowlife family and never faced his life as it was. He was always high or taking his hate out on other people as a skinhead. He always tried to be better, but only ever replaced a bad situation with a worse or equally bad one.
Frank was immediately born into a bad situation. Living in a fairly bad neighborhood, with his parents both drug a AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A RECOVERING SKINHEAD
By Frank Meeink

I’ve recently read Autobiography of a Recovering Skinhead, by Frank Meeink. Frank is born out of a pretty lowlife family and never faced his life as it was. He was always high or taking his hate out on other people as a skinhead. He always tried to be better, but only ever replaced a bad situation with a worse or equally bad one.
Frank was immediately born into a bad situation. Living in a fairly bad neighborhood, with his parents both drug addicts, you think that his life couldn’t get worse, but it slowly escalates to being so much worse, that his beginning situation seems like nothing.
Frank’s life really starts to go from bad to worse when Frank meets a group of skinheads. When Frank first becomes a skinhead, it’s less because of his hate, but more because he likes the rest of the skinhead gang, and wants to be with them. Later on, he gets caught up in hate and believes about everything his gang tells him. He beats people up because he believes the other skinheads that the people he is discriminating want to do bad to him, and are bad people. Later on he recruits other skinheads, and tells the lies and hate that others told to him to himself and others.
When he goes to jail, Frank goes through a conversion and when he is released, he is no longer the person that he was when he entered. At this point of the book, both the reader and Frank think that he is recovered. He only faces how horrible of a person he was. Very soon he starts taking an insane amount of very strong drugs. He is almost constantly on some sort of drug, so he didn’t have to face what his life had been like. As he was going through this drug phase, he hurt himself, and other people, who loved him. He still kept himself on drugs so he didn’t have to face this fact either. He went to rehab several times but still managed to get drugs in every rehab he went to. Writing the book was what I think really turned around Frank’s life. It was the first time he really looked at his life as a whole and admitted all of the horrors he did to himself and others and thought about his motivations.
I’m not at all a big fan of biographies, and have only read about two cover to cover including this and this is the first I’ve enjoyed. I heard Frank Meeink speak first on the BBC news radio station (which I hate almost as much as biographies). I haven’t really read a biography before with an open mind and given it a chance, but I didn’t really even have to think about giving this book a chance. As soon as I saw him speak, I planned to go to Barnes and Noble to buy his book. I didn’t think about how boring biographies are, or why I liked the book so much. I just read the book and loved it. I seriously recommend this book to everyone (not too young I guess). It makes you realize how important it is to face who you are as a person and could easily change many people’s lives. Frank Meeink went through so much as a person and knows so much as well. I would rate this book a solid ten out of ten.
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Aug 18, 2010 Tyson rated it 3 of 5 stars

It was hard to decide whether this book deserves 3 or 4 stars. In the end I gave it 4 because I couldn't put it down. It's raw and horrifying in some instances, but entertaining. If you've seen American History X, some of the skinhead / prison / life redemption experiences will not feel particularly unique. But this is a true story. And it's written in an entertaining way from the perspective of Frank Meeink - a legit ex skinhead from South Philadelphia. It's not just about racism and neo nazis, It was hard to decide whether this book deserves 3 or 4 stars. In the end I gave it 4 because I couldn't put it down. It's raw and horrifying in some instances, but entertaining. If you've seen American History X, some of the skinhead / prison / life redemption experiences will not feel particularly unique. But this is a true story. And it's written in an entertaining way from the perspective of Frank Meeink - a legit ex skinhead from South Philadelphia. It's not just about racism and neo nazis, but also drug addiction, abuse, and growing up.

This book resonated with me in part because I can relate to the late 80's/early 90's era when skinheads and sharps were everywhere in the punk scene - and when I allowed myself to flirt with racist sentiments. My 9th grade year I began attending school at Las Vegas high - a school that included zoning for a lot of rough neighborhoods. Immediately me and my punk/skater friends were harassed by big and intimidating black and Latino gangster kids. This intimidation coincided with attempts, outside of school, by the largest skinhead gang in Vegas (Christian Identity Skinheads) to recruit us.

Long story short, I never entirely bought into the rhetoric. It was ridiculous, illogical, and appalling. A couple friends began attending skinhead rallies, but most of us avoided the skinheads while privately beginning a racist dialogue of our own. It wasn't as extreme as the skinhead rhetoric, but we began interpreting our negative experiences at school in light of racial differences. Inspired by a Rush Limbaugh book I was reading at the time that ranted against 'multiculturalism,' I tried to start a 'White American Youth' club at my school as a political statement against the hypocrisy of allowing African American Youth and Latino American clubs. Naturally this didn't go over well.

Somehow I endured a year of threats by gangster kids without getting my ass kicked, although I watched one of my friends get beat up for having his head shaved and for having drawn a little swastika on his skate ramp (oops). My head wasn't shaved so they left me alone. But as we walked home, my friend Jacob's face still stinging after three black dudes took turns punching him over and over in the face, we reached the pinnacle of our hatred and were moments away from calling the skinheads who had been trying to recruit us. There is no question they would have showed up immediately and stood up for us and continued the violence, and very possibly converted us to that lifestyle - just out of the shear appeal of feeling tough and protected. But somehow we refrained. By our sophomore year we'd fortunately stopped flirting with racist ideas (and threw away our mock KKK membership cards we made during class / stopped drawing swastikas on our folders - yeah, seriously).

I also played in a punk band all through high school and continuously witnessed the violence of skinheads and sharps. They would get in the mosh pit and literally start riots. One time I watched the sharps (skinheads against racial prejudice) take turns kicking a guy - punting his head like a football until he went into convulsions. Another time the skinheads started a riot at a punk show that moved out into the parking lot and in the street and had to be ended by a couple dozen cops. The scariest moment was when some sharps showed up to one of our desert shows and started shooting guns. We all ran for our lives and hid behind cars and bushes.

I don't know how prevalent the skinhead scene is anymore. But there are probably still a lot of stories to be told by people willing to share them. It's a unique and terrible part of American subculture that should be documented and shared. Frank Meeink's story is valuable in this sense. It's an interesting and entertaining read.

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Tyson Nona wrote: "I put it down every 3-4 pages for about 6 months until I decided I was determined to buck up and read the whole thing. I'm glad I did. I ...more
Mar 27, 2011 08:13PM

Nona Carrasco Agreed... I did write a more descriptive explanation to my reaction and feelings regarding this book in my review.
updated Mar 27, 2011 08:17PM

May 30, 2011 Joe rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: psychology , sociology , non-fiction

This is a pretty fantastic autobiography of Frank Meeink, who was one of the most racist, and notoriously violent people involved with Aryan Nations and other hate organizations on the east coast between 1980-2000. It has become a pretty popular read due to the fact that Mr. Meeink is completely forthcoming with all of the brutal crimes he has committed, and describes his drug use as vividly as his memory allows him. Also, he doesn't write with a tone suggesting that he's using it as an apology ...more

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Oct 24, 2010 stormhawk rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: kindle

I found out about this book thanks to Michael Smerconish. I caught the tail-end of an interview on his show earlier this week and downloaded the book through the magic of Kindle while I walked across the parking lot into my office.

One thing I worry about with this book ... I think I'm hearing the voice of his co-writer rather than Frank, himself. Despite the book being peppered with references to cheesesteaks and the well-known Philly-pronoun, "Youse," Jody Roy's Ph.D. is painted across each pag I found out about this book thanks to Michael Smerconish. I caught the tail-end of an interview on his show earlier this week and downloaded the book through the magic of Kindle while I walked across the parking lot into my office.

One thing I worry about with this book ... I think I'm hearing the voice of his co-writer rather than Frank, himself. Despite the book being peppered with references to cheesesteaks and the well-known Philly-pronoun, "Youse," Jody Roy's Ph.D. is painted across each page. There's an extensive interview following the close of the book in which both she and Frank promise that absolutely everything is true and has been researched and cross-checked as best they can.

But there are things that don't hang right. Maybe I'd feel better about all of this if I could dredge up ANYTHING online about Mr. Meeink that isn't directly related to his book. (okay, there are a couple of things, but no copies of the Public Access TV show videos, for example, which I would expect to be an easy find)

Let's just say that I have insider knowledge about how certain things work ... nuthouses and drug treatment admissions, for example. Perhaps things were changed for tale-telling expediency, but that first psych admission? Where Frankie's mom "signs him in?" She can't. Not in Pennsylvania after he turned 14, anyway. And she couldn't have been the one to write commitment papers, either.

Pardon me also, for doubting the nuthouse escape ... Crazy Cates must have had suicides dropping like flies out of those breakable 2nd story windows ... and the skinhead who threw a brick into the window must have been Thor himself ... ever try to throw a brick 20 feet straight? Up fights against gravity, people.

And that first night-time call to Charter-Fairmount? That doesn't work that way either. I've spent a lot of time on the phone with those folks, and they don't make ticky-tappy typing noises when you speak to them. They have pens and papers. Dramatic effect, I guess ... that must be it. I expect that being an itinerant furniture mover and part-time drug dealer doesn't come with insurance benefits. There's a process involved in getting substance abuse treatment funded by Philadelphia, it's not interesting, it's not a sexy read, and it's not fast.

And I don't ever remember seeing skinheads (or SHARPs, for that matter) down on South Street. Maybe I was going on their night off?

Yeah, this is some picayune nonsense when you consider the rest of the book, but it still bothers me. Frank opens his life to the reader with none of the rough edges polished, sanded, or softballed. Blood flows through the pages, the kind of bonds and ties of family, as well as the blood of beat-downs. That part of the book is likely to be hard to read for a lot of people.

I guess this kind of book is more about the good it will do, right? ...more

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Dec 07, 2013 Paul rated it 4 of 5 stars

First the positive: This book gives a fair bit of insight into the sad circumstances that foster and cultivate hatred in recent times (and, actually, across all time, as those circumstances are not at all limited to recent decades). This book also provides hope, showing how the right exposure to the right kind of guidance, friendship, responsibility, or love can overcome that hatred (and, also teaches a huge lesson, showing how the actions of even one person—the Jewish employer, in this case—can ...more

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Mar 27, 2011 Nona Carrasco rated it 5 of 5 stars

Extremely hard read, especially if you have any history that is touched on within the pages of this book. When I began reading it I could only make it through a few pages at a time then I'd put it down, picking it up days or weeks later.
However to set the mind on having such courage to read something that took courage to have written I felt was the least I could do...

The simple fact was that I met him quite randomly through friends while he was here in Portland, and running into him the next da ...more

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Jul 08, 2010 Scott rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2010 , adult-books , horror , my_mini_non-fiction_marathon , realistic , second-half-of-2010 , summer-reading-2010 , older-teens

This is a book where the star rating doesn't matter much.
It could be a 5 star book in places, some it could be a 4 and some a 3.
It's not inconsistent. In fact, it's anything but. The style walks a straight line, the voice never feels dishonest. It's very "just the facts." It doesn't ever feel dry or emotionless though.
See, I am having a hard time with this book.
Let's start here.
Frank Meeink had a rough childhood. His parents had him young, and after they split his father signed him away (sort of This is a book where the star rating doesn't matter much.
It could be a 5 star book in places, some it could be a 4 and some a 3.
It's not inconsistent. In fact, it's anything but. The style walks a straight line, the voice never feels dishonest. It's very "just the facts." It doesn't ever feel dry or emotionless though.
See, I am having a hard time with this book.
Let's start here.
Frank Meeink had a rough childhood. His parents had him young, and after they split his father signed him away (sort of.) Neither of his parents ever really took the time to raise him. Both chose drugs and alcohol, and his mother chose an abusive stepfather. His extended family were much more caring and loving, including his grandparents on his father's side who were there for him through thick and thin. Never really having proper, or consistent role models, combined with his violent upbringing in South Philly could have been contributors to his quick and easy intoxication with the Skinhead/Neo-Nazi movement. Meeink tells his unflinching story of how he got into the movement, how deep he drifted, and how he got out.

It's a stirring story, powerful in imagery. It's easy to see how Meeink fell in with this crowd, he was looking for something to believe in, not to mention he was young and impressionable. It also makes sense how he fell out of it so "easily." But I also like how this story doesn't give easy answers or easy escapes. Meeink realizes he doesn't believe in the Nazi propaganda long before he actually changes. He struggles with addiction. He even has trouble fully investing in the skinhead lifestyle right off the bat. He's human and he's imperfect. It makes him a flawed human that is easy to empathize with, even throughout the worst of situations (and there are some bad, graphic situations here.)

I heard someone say they felt uncomfortable that Meeink doesn't seem more apologetic or remorseful throughout his narrative. However, that is something I actually liked. He isn't begging for sympathy, or looking for excuses, or even trying to use this book as a blanket apology. No, I think he would feel all of those things would be a cop-out. I think he understands he did horrible things that he can never really apologize for. He doesn't want our sympathy, he wants our horror. He knows he was a horrible person, and admits it is still a struggle for him. He doesn't want to be let off the hook so easily. Maybe that makes it sound like he is leading us through his masochistic walk of shame, but he isn't. It's a solid story that can be eye-opening, tear-jerking, horrifying and more.

So what's my problem?

Repetition. At a certain point I started to wonder if Meeink's story was hard to read because the subject matter is hard to read about, or if it could have been streamlined a little better. I began to think it was the latter. Jody M. Roy, who Meeink told his story to, could have picked the most effective bits, or they could have worked with an editor. I don't know. There are just parts that were so effective, and parts that felt redundant. I think some of the redundancy is necessary to show Meeink as imperfect, but I think some is just repetitive and cut have been cut.

See, I'm still on the fence. I highly recommended this book, without reservation even. Just some things didn't sit right with me. I'll mull it over some more. ...more

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May 05, 2010 Meghan rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: aatoreq , aa11reqrec , favorites

Frank Meeink and Jody M. Roy tell of Meeink’s story childhood spent raised by alcoholics and drug addicts on the low-end of the working class spectrum in Philadelphia. Despite loving extended family, no one protects Meeink from savage beatings from his stepfather, the emotional abuse and indifference from both his mother and father, and the constant fear he lives in as he bounces around low-performing, dangerous elementary and middle schools. An all too brief childhood filled with severe violenc Frank Meeink and Jody M. Roy tell of Meeink’s story childhood spent raised by alcoholics and drug addicts on the low-end of the working class spectrum in Philadelphia. Despite loving extended family, no one protects Meeink from savage beatings from his stepfather, the emotional abuse and indifference from both his mother and father, and the constant fear he lives in as he bounces around low-performing, dangerous elementary and middle schools. An all too brief childhood filled with severe violence and neglect made him an easy target for recruitment when he visits his cousin in rural Pennsylvania. Older neo-Nazi teens are interested in his development and protection, something he hasn’t regularly experienced in his life. They act as mentors, friends, and a de facto family as they indoctrinate him into the movement.

Upon his return to Philadelphia at 14, Frank becomes, for the first time in his life, a leader, a strategist, an entrepreneur, and an absolutely feared person as the head of the local neo-Nazi movement. Meeink takes the reader on a horrifying journey of rage and hate, allowing a look behind the curtain into how a virtually homeless teen boy finds a sense of family in a group created around a twisted ideology of white identify. The book provides fascinating details about The Movement – everything from fashion to regional differences in organizing. Meeink does not censor the rage and alcohol-fueled actions he committed for years as the leader of Strike Force, a gang of neo-Nazi teams he created and led. In fact, he recounts the pride he felt when a neo-Nazi leader, freshly released from prison, joins Meeink and his friends in savagely beating homosexuals outside of a bar. “Shoulder to should with my comrades, back up against the wall, awaiting my first trip to juvie in the glow of Scott Windham’s approving smile, I felt proud, truly proud, for the first time.”

Eventually, Meeink’s actions in Philadelphia finally force him flee (with the help of a neo-Nazi mentor) to the Midwest, where he descends further into violence and madness. After brutally kidnapping and torturing a member of his new group of recruits, or freshcuts, Meeink lands in prison. As he headed to prison Meeink was a leader in the young neo-Nazi movement, an alcoholic, and soon-to-be father. He was 17.

His innate street smarts and his role as a neo-Nazi leader outside prison walls ensured he survived and, in many ways, flourished during his time in prison. But the neo-Nazis who protected him inside and revered him outside couldn’t foresee the epiphany he would have behind bars that would ultimately lead to his redemption. During his time in prison Meeink ends up playing football with Vice Lords and becoming close friends with two African American teen prisoners. They commiserate, like teens everywhere, about what their girlfriends are doing when they aren’t around, and helping each other decode secret messages of infidelity in letters and phone calls home. For the first time ever, Meeink lives with the “mud” he had been indoctrinated to hate and the holes in the neo-Nazi ideology he had held so dear become quickly apparent to the middle school dropout.

Of course, it’s not that easy to walk away from the only life Meeink has known. Upon his return to Philly, Meeink reunites with the Strike Force, but he’s not the only one who has changed. Friends and family have died, become strung out on drugs, or left the Movement. Meeink quickly turns to drugs and returns to drinking to numb his confusion and rage. He can’t live as a leader in a movement he doesn’t believe in anymore and his day of reckoning is violent and appalling, giving him another excuse to lose himself in drugs and alcohol.

Meeink’s ideological redemption ran parallel to his descent into drug addiction and alcoholism. As he found meaning in his work with the Anti-Defamation League, telling the truth about his actions as a neo-Nazi, he becomes an even bigger liar as he spends days shooting up and stealing Oxycontin from his mother. Just as it did with the neo-Nazis, Meeink faces a day of reckoning with his drug and alcohol use that is violent and heartbreaking. ...more

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Oct 18, 2013 Maureen rated it 5 of 5 stars

If goodreads had 4.5 stars I would give that. Very shocking and disturbing but a great read where I'd grab the book any free moment I had. It's almost several stories..Frank's extremely terrible childhood, even worse teenage years which led to neo-nazi years and later severe drug addiction. There wasn't one specific event that led Frank to become a hateful person nor a specific event that made him realize how stupid and nonsensical racisim is. Very well written and informative book! (again thoug ...more

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Aug 28, 2010 Jackie Bouchard rated it 3 of 5 stars

I heard this guy talking about his life on NPR so was interested to read his story. It's sometimes pretty raw and tough to read, but it helps you understand how some people can become part of a hate-group, and, better still, shows that there's hope for them to eventually realize their stupidity and change their ways. It's a frustrating story at times because of his addiction issues - you just want to shake him, as I'm sure his love ones also wanted to. Overall, it's a story of hope and a pretty ...more

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Apr 13, 2015 Sarah rated it 4 of 5 stars

While many other reviewers here seem to be compelled by the raw detail of such a controversial narrative, I’m much more inclined to base my opinion of this book on it’s value as an object of cultural discussion rather than of individual experience. It’s publication has created a unique space in which to discuss and give voice to the socio-economic, familial, and cultural conditions which lead people, like Frank Meeink, to participate and embrace such horrifying ideologies and act upon them. Carv ...more

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Apr 12, 2015 Alan Holley rated it 4 of 5 stars

Rarely has a story of such utter hatred and horrifying violence been told with such touching sincerity. Frank's transformation from a neglected and abused teen, to a low-level street thug, to a feared and revered skinhead legacy, and finally to a struggling addict and ex-con preaching the ways of love is not just compelling, it's absorbing. Frank tells his life story with the understanding that, if this book is truly meant to inspire, then he can't hold anything back, and he doesn't. The graphic Rarely has a story of such utter hatred and horrifying violence been told with such touching sincerity. Frank's transformation from a neglected and abused teen, to a low-level street thug, to a feared and revered skinhead legacy, and finally to a struggling addict and ex-con preaching the ways of love is not just compelling, it's absorbing. Frank tells his life story with the understanding that, if this book is truly meant to inspire, then he can't hold anything back, and he doesn't. The graphic beatings, the drug addiction, the spewing of hate-filled slurs and racist ideologies, told in all of their raw detail, can all be traced back to a young boy in South Philly who just wanted to feel like he belonged somewhere. Frank looks back on his life and relays his experiences with such profound conviction that, as a reader, you tremble at the realization that he is not so different from any one of us. I've never found myself more emotionally invested in a memoir; I cringed every time he took a punch, celebrated every time he fell in love, and clenched my fists in frustration at every relapse. By the end, it was as if I had finished reading about a dear friend.

My only wish for this book is that Frank had spent more time talking about the actual inner-conversion he experienced that resulted in him turning his life around. In the span of a few chapters, Frank is jumped out of the brotherhood, shaken by the event of the city bombing, and soon thereafter, he is running his own non-profit and speaking at ADL events, all the while battling his drug addiction. The struggle of overcoming his drug addiction begins to overshadow everything else in Frank's life, and we never get to hear much about the ideals of love that Frank is preaching to the world, despite love being such a powerful force in his life. Nevertheless, Frank's incredible story of transformation has had a lasting impact on me, and I am grateful to him for sharing it. ...more

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Sep 18, 2013 Nique rated it 4 of 5 stars

I've been wanting to read this book for years. I was really curious about what drives people to hate people they've never even met. This book gave me insight into that. Sometimes, it's simply a matter of being accepted by a group when everyone else around you is ignoring your existence. It's not excusing the things he did, but it helps me understand. There were times in the book that I wanted to slap him for making bad decisions, but I found the book very hard to put down.

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Aug 19, 2010 Damon added it

One of the worst books I've had to read in sometime. Spoiler Alert. What kinda dude can have 3 kids and not have to pay child support but can get strungout on junk while touring the country speaking at schools and have a hot rich wife? This Guy! Sounds awesome....right? not so much.

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Oct 16, 2010 Darcy Poquette rated it 4 of 5 stars

Disturbing so far. I'm wondering how he's going to begin his recovery. He's coming to speak to our students this month.

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Jul 12, 2014 Branna Elenz rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: true-story , moving

I greatly enjoyed this book! As I am going into the sociology and psychology field this was a very interesting and in depth read. I recently did an internship at a hospital out-patient psych facility in south Chicago. This is where I just began to get a taste of what addiction does to a person. Reading this book so soon after my short experience really gave me an idea of the full life story of someone in the situation letting it ALL out. I will always keep this book, even if I never read it cove ...more

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Apr 21, 2014 Margaret rated it 4 of 5 stars

What I liked about this memoir is that it wasn't written by Meeink. I know, I know. It's a strange thing to say that I like a book because it wasn't written by the focus of the story, but that is what makes this book different. Meeink told his story to several people over the years, but one of the only ones who got the full picture, in all its detail, was Jody M. Roy. She listened to Meeink, asked questions, and in the end, they both came up with the manuscript. You don't sense her filtering his ...more

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Jul 24, 2014 Zana rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: social-work

The head of my social work internship (at an addiction clinic) recommended this book to me. Wow. It is super-disturbing. Very compelling, very readable... The story of how a boy found family and stability in the white power movement, went to prison for hate crimes, lost everything when he eventually woke up to the fact that he didn't believe the dogma anymore, and lost more through addiction.

I'm pretty sure she wanted me to read it more for the bits on addiction than the bits on hate crimes. Th ...more

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Nov 21, 2012 Kirsten rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book was really fascinating. It's a good book to read if you want to scare yourself straight, or give it to a teenager who needs that. I think Skinheads are the scariest kinds of people but after reading this book I realized they are just like other gangsters, just different colors. They just happen to think that they are superior to other gangsters due to the color of their skin. It's really sad. Frank Meeink gets caught up with the skinheads when he is 15 because up until then, nobody rea ...more

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Nov 29, 2010 j rated it 4 of 5 stars

this was way better than I anticipated. Probably what makes it so good is that, as far as I can tell, at no point does Meeink attempt to make himself into some sort of sad-sack figure who you should forgive even though he did horrible things because he's Really A Nice Guy Who Just Had Some Tough Breaks. He's remarkably frank (ha! let's pretend I did that on purpose) about who he is or was: a not-exactly-brilliant junkie who steals, lies, hurts people, and generally makes terrible life decisions, ...more

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Jan 01, 2013 Amy rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012 , memoir-types , non-fiction

I can't in good conscience rate this more than 3 stars, though its quite a powerful read that will linger with you. I heard his interview on NPR and just had to read the book.

More than anything, to me it illustrates how very easy it is to turn anger into hate and hate to rage and violence. Most teenagers and angry angsty balls of hormones, and if not given good direction could so easily go the route of violence -- add in the god awful childhood that Frank had and the anger factor goes way up. Is I can't in good conscience rate this more than 3 stars, though its quite a powerful read that will linger with you. I heard his interview on NPR and just had to read the book.

More than anything, to me it illustrates how very easy it is to turn anger into hate and hate to rage and violence. Most teenagers and angry angsty balls of hormones, and if not given good direction could so easily go the route of violence -- add in the god awful childhood that Frank had and the anger factor goes way up. Is it any surprise that when someone came along and gave him a focus for that anger that he grabbed on with a fierce hold? Angry at his parents, at his step parents, at his school, at his neighborhood... suddenly someone comes and says that all of it is the fault of the blacks and jews and asians etc etc... and points out selective bible passages to prove it. Match made in hell.

What follows is pure horror. Im the same age as Frank and I cannot believe the things he was doing at age 14, 16.... Shocking and horrifying and brutally honest, with a hefty dose of self awareness for someone who dropped out of school at 9th grade, Frank explains how he figured out that giving kids a focus for hate turns them so quickly... And, in the Frank's case, allows them to avoid their own emotions.. bury them in hate, which had ever more disatrous results.

Frank finds clarity about the equality of all men in - of all places- prison, where instead of making him hard, forced interactions with the races he purportd to hate caused him to realize they aren't all that hateful after all. Out of prison and with his new outlook, Frank couldn't hide behind hate, so - as he had done in times when he couldn't focus is rage outward - he focused it on himself with a massive drug addiction. Even while he was preaching non-violence and changing lives he was hugely addicted. Finally able to break free of addition - hopefully for good - Frank continues to try to help kids grow and learn and not hate.

Absolutely fascinating story. I sincerely hope that he is able to stay clean and continue to work for good. ...more

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Jun 28, 2010 Rita Meade rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction , adult

If you are seeking deep insight into the perceptions and rationalizations of a Neo-Nazi skinhead, you probably will not find it in this book. Meeink's tale is indeed raw, gritty, and fascinating in a voyueristic way, but it really should be called "Autobiography of a Recovering Alcoholic, Ex-Junkie, Womanizer, Victim of Child Abuse, Pissed-Off 'White-Trash' Kid." I don't mean to be glib about Meeink's experiences. I just think that underneath the surface, this book isn't really about being a ski ...more

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Nov 02, 2010 Emily rated it 5 of 5 stars

To all my sweet, kind hearted friends, I do not recommend this book. Let me just tell you that there are terrible and awful situations in this world. To my more hard-hearted friends, this book was a fantastic read.

When I finished this book I felt a huge burden lift from my shoulders. It was so intense and violent and depressing. But, it was amazing. The dynamic between Frank Meeink telling his story to Jody Roy and the way she out the story together was fabulously done. There were distinct poin ...more

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Jul 18, 2011 Patrick O'Neil rated it 4 of 5 stars

I'm a veteran of the punk era – late '70's to the mid '80's. I spent a lot of time out at clubs and shows across the country. And one of the worst aspects of that time were the skinheads. I fucking hate skinheads. They were a constant hassle, a violent roving band of degenerate hate mongers in Doc Martens fucking up the shows, getting in the way, and spouting racist rhetoric to a populace that was at best radically liberal, and at worst apolitical. So, it's pretty safe to say I have no love, and I'm a veteran of the punk era – late '70's to the mid '80's. I spent a lot of time out at clubs and shows across the country. And one of the worst aspects of that time were the skinheads. I fucking hate skinheads. They were a constant hassle, a violent roving band of degenerate hate mongers in Doc Martens fucking up the shows, getting in the way, and spouting racist rhetoric to a populace that was at best radically liberal, and at worst apolitical. So, it's pretty safe to say I have no love, and even less interest in anything skinhead.

But then here comes Frank Meeink, and the hype generated from his book, Autobiography of a Recovering Skinhead: Frank Meeink's Story as Told to Jody M. Roy . There were interviews and excerpts over at The Nervous Breakdown, other bits of Internet buzz, and then word of mouth – and finally I said okay, I'll read the fucking thing, but I don't like skinheads. And then I find out Meeink was also a dopefiend, and fuck up and I'm like, oh shit, he's one of us – a person in recovery, with problems and issues and feelings and… Not what, or how, or even do I want to imagine a skinhead, even a self-professed "recovering skinhead."

So, yeah, recovery is a large encompassing word and idea – and it can include a lot of things other than just drugs and alcohol. And yeah, Meeink wasn't just a violent criminal skinhead, he was also a drug addict/alcoholic/serial impregnator – so he's got a lot to deal with, and his story of getting there isn't pretty, but was about what I expected. And through all the hate posturing and insanity that was Meeink's life – I heard the usual junkie's lament: never felt like he fit in, emerged from dysfunction, confused, alone, disenfranchised, scared, fearful, angry – it's textbook addict 101. And in the end I can't hate Meeink. I can only support him in the change he has instigated in his life. But it doesn't mean I have to like him, or his past exploits. His story, although interesting – and other than he left the white power movement, isn't that amazing, or different, out news worthy – he's just another casualty trying to find his way.
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Apr 04, 2010 Wendy rated it 4 of 5 stars

In June of 2001, I had the opportunity to join my mother and a contingent from her school on a tour of the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles, California. Although I am not an educator, my mom thought I might be interested in going along (not to mention spending a little time with her since we live over 400 miles apart). The experience made a huge impression on me. The museum was so much more than I expected, covering a wide range of topics. It was an eye opener to say the least. Along with the In June of 2001, I had the opportunity to join my mother and a contingent from her school on a tour of the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles, California. Although I am not an educator, my mom thought I might be interested in going along (not to mention spending a little time with her since we live over 400 miles apart). The experience made a huge impression on me. The museum was so much more than I expected, covering a wide range of topics. It was an eye opener to say the least. Along with the usual museum displays and recorded presentations, there were also live presentations, one a Holocaust survivor whose story was heartbreaking and another was a former neo-Nazi, whose story was not only sad but very frightening. Especially frightening because of their growing numbers and with just how organized groups like the neo-Nazis had become. They are breeding grounds for home grown terrorists. A different variety than the fundamental islamists we hear about on the news today, but similar in their violent, passionate anger and self-righteousness.

This past year I read about a small protest in my own city, a gathering of neo-Nazis protesting illegal immigration. The anti-protesters far outnumbered the skinheads. There were many jokes made at the expense of the skinheads. I read a few of the comments on the newspaper's website and decided to do a little research. I visited a random white supremacist website. I confess I was embarrassed to be doing so. It felt wrong as it goes against just about everything I believe. I watched a recruitment video, which I found more humorous than factual--in an angry making sort of way. I read the tenets of the organization, and while most made me cringe, I also could see the draw. They spoke to a person's sense of self-worth, to the parent who is struggling to raise a child, to a person's need to feel secure and safe, and to building a cohesive community. There was also something about drug use, how it hurts a person and community more than it helps. That one really surprised me, I have to say, as I tend to associate drug abuse with groups like that. I can see why someone might be attracted to an organization like that even as I sat there feeling a little sick to my stomach. In fact, I think that's part of what made me feel sick--how easy it would be to sway someone to that way of thinking, depending on a person's state of mind and situation in life. Groups, gangs and organizations like this prey on people who feel disenfranchised and are not happy with society or their lives. Maybe that person is feeling all alone in the world, battered and bullied. Groups like this, at least on some level, offer young people a family of sorts and a sense of security. That's exactly what the neo-Nazi skinheads offered Frank Meeink and he his own recruits.

In the introduction, Elizabeth Wrutzel writes:

This is the truth: I read Autobiography of a Recovering Skinhead with my mouth either actually or metaphorically agape, because I just could not believe anyone could be this much of an idiot and live to tell the story so clearly and cleanly. I don't know what the worst of it is: the racism, the anti-Semitism, the sexism, the alcoholism, the addiction, the depression, the abuse, the violence, the homicide, the suicide - or just the way all these maladies co-exist. Frank Meeink's story is upsetting and crazy, but it is above all a strangely absurdist drama that forces us to ask a troubling question about American life: Why, in a land with so much opportunity, is a critical mass of young people choosing hatred over possibility?

It was with that very question in mind that I decided to read this book, why I visited that website, and why that presentation years ago interested me so much. I do not think I will ever be able to truly understand the whys in answer to questions like this, but perhaps I can gain a little insight. I'm a true believer that armed with knowledge, we can work toward change--of course, it takes more than that, but it's a start.

This is not a pretty book to read. It is raw and straight forward. I could definitely hear Frank's voice, however, in the words I read on the page. Frank is very matter of fact about his experiences, and with good reason. His story is what it is. He did not sugarcoat anything or try to make himself look better. And that's what makes this such a difficult read. Yet, I couldn't stop reading once I started. I knew going in that this book would make me angry--and it did. It also provided me with a perspective into why a person would turn to the neo-Nazi skinhead movement. There were moments when I could not help but to feel for Frank and admire his strength and ability to overcome his anger and hate and turn his life around.

Frank is not so different from any one of us. My heart broke for that little boy who was severely beaten by his stepfather and repeatedly rejected by his mother. He was the son of drug addicts. He was lost and alone, searching anywhere and everywhere for approval and guidance. He got it where he could. Frank was fourteen when he was introduced to his first neo-Nazi skinheads, his cousin and his cousin's friends. They took him under their wing and made him feel a part of something. Frank would go on to start his own crew of skinheads back in South Philly, where he was from, and he earned a reputation for being one of the most brutal and violent skinheads out there. He was cruel and vicious in a fight, but on the inside, he was still that little boy craving approval and attention.

Frank, at age 17, landed in an adult prison after kidnapping and nearly murdering a young man. It was a wake up call for him and one that sparked the beginning of a change in his way of thinking. During his teen years, he turned much of his anger and frustration towards other races, gays, homeless people, and Jewish people. As an adult, however, as his hatred for these groups diminished, he became more involved with drugs and his alcoholism worsened. Frank made several attempts to clean up his life and remain sober, but it proved to be too daunting of a task. Time and time again, he failed. What makes it all the more heartbreaking is that he had so much going for him, and yet he had yet to deal with the underlying causes that lead him addiction and, initially, the skinhead movement. Until he dealt with those issues, he wouldn't be able to get a better handle on his addiction, much less move on with his life.

Frank was fortunate to have family and friends who stood by him through all of his transgressions. Even when he was at his worst, they were in the background, helpless to help, but willing to catch him when he fell nonetheless. Strangers, those he once would have sooner kicked with his Doc Martens than turned to for help, reached out to offer him support. One of my favorite moments in the book is when Frank is invited to join a Bible study session in jail. He is the only white person there. Despite his reputation and swastika tattoo, the black inmates still made room for him.

This is not a book about white supremacy. Ultimately, Frank's story is a coming of age story, one about child abuse, gangs and drug dependency. It is a story of tragedy as well as one of hope. Frank's violence and hatred against others is in no way acceptable nor is this book meant to excuse anything he has done--it is simply a look into one man's life and how he ended up on the path that he did. Autobiography of a Recovering Skinhead is an important book that is as relevant today as it would have been when Frank Meeink was growing up. ...more

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May 19, 2010 Jessica Barkl rated it 4 of 5 stars

Growing up in Hayden, ID, I saw and knew about skinheads. But...it wasn't a discussion, nor was it something I ever felt I was allowed to research or know about. This book definitely gave me a perspective on the negative imagination that I think I needed growing up, but was never in a situation where I could hear about it. I am a big believer that understanding the particulars of the negative imagination in any given racial crisis, holocaust, ethnic cleansing, or any other atrocity, is the key t ...more

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May 02, 2010 Erik rated it 3 of 5 stars

Reminiscent of American History X, this collaborative autobiography makes up in its sheer and brutal honesty what it lacks in narrative style. (I admit I’m particular in my writerly tastes.) Although the subject matter of American racist skinheads (the two are not synonymous, as Meeink points out) is not a new one, Meeink’s story is powerful in that it addresses many of the roots causes of why people can become easily convinced and absorbed with such irrational and destructive beliefs. He also r Reminiscent of American History X, this collaborative autobiography makes up in its sheer and brutal honesty what it lacks in narrative style. (I admit I’m particular in my writerly tastes.) Although the subject matter of American racist skinheads (the two are not synonymous, as Meeink points out) is not a new one, Meeink’s story is powerful in that it addresses many of the roots causes of why people can become easily convinced and absorbed with such irrational and destructive beliefs. He also reveals some of the mythical ideas behind Aryanism that I wasn’t fully aware of – particularly their Biblical-based teachings.

"The twelve tribes of Israel were the only true children of God, the humans created in His image through the lineage of Adam. The other races were the bloodlines produced by Eve’s carnal sin with the serpent; they were the descendants of Cain, the literal son of Satan. The skinheads assured me the pure Aryan blood of the twelve tribes, God’s blood, coursed through the veins of every white person in the world, including mine."

As his story of being a novice skinhead to becoming a gang leader on the mean streets of Philadelphia progresses, Meeink relates how he came to target specific kinds of youths – which also aptly describe him.

"I didn’t need to bother recruiting racists. All I did was befriend kids who were pissed off about being picked on day in and day out. I trusted them to pay me back with loyalty. I trusted that I could turn their humiliation into hate. All I had to do was redirect their rage until it came thundering back out as racism."

If Meeink’s dead-on analysis is even partially correct, then the solution to ending the destructiveness of racism and its attendant social ills is obvious: Do more to support children in families where there is verbal and emotional abuse. Sadly, in all the time that I’ve been a public school educator, the only time kids are pulled from homes by the state is when there is physical and/or sexual abuse. And it is neglect, verbal, and emotional abuse that are the sowing grounds for these destructive ways of thinking and behaving.
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Aug 02, 2010 Daniel rated it 3 of 5 stars

Reads like million little pieces but the co-author has gone to the lengths to verify most of the facts. Pretty powerful story thou Meeink is constantly trying to one up himself with new descriptions of exploits and wreckage. A fast read and short so definitely worth the time. Just not a great book because it's just his story and he doesn't even get to the point of realizing he's still enamored with his past life.
There is a lack of any real deep regret and he portrays an overhanging sense that h ...more

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Oct 14, 2010 Mia Searles (The Muses Circle) rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography-autobiography , favorites

I'll be perfectly honest-- other then assigned books that I HAD to read for high school and college, I rarely pick up biographies or autobiographies at a bookstore.

Three to four years ago I never read a young adult novel until the Twilight Saga. Now I am addicted.

A couple of weeks ago I was trying to track down my mom in Barnes & Noble and found her in the biography section. They are her type of books. As I was trying to help her find a couple of books on the Holocaust (crazy right?) I saw t ...more

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Dec 04, 2010 Allison rated it 3 of 5 stars

It's a good book. Interesting. Frightening. But not as inspiring as I was really hoping it would be given the commentary I'd read about it before I picked it up. He discusses issues that lead to his descent into the Skinhead movement and later into drugs but not in a clear cut 'cause and effect' fashion that I think would resonate with a wider audience. This lack of highlighting the determining factors is even more disappointing for me when he's been transformed through his epiphany and is out o ...more

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